Anxiety and exercise

I need exercise to function, it allows me to switch off the negative thoughts and focus on the present.

My anxiety is mainly driven around the “what if” and the details of any event. I struggle to see the big, wonderful picture and positive moments. Instead I struggle with the details and the fear of getting it wrong or failing.

For me I need a sport which uses my brain as well as physical. I need to be fully consumed in the moment. I also prefer a sport which is physically hard as it pushes me to train for it. Even when I am not doing a sport I can train for it or visualise how to improve.

Exercise fills time and makes me tired which helps me sleep. I find to be truly tired at the end of the day I require to both be physically and mentally tired.

Of course sport and exercise can also be the polar opposite and be the trigger of my anxiety. If something is new which I might fail in, look stupid doing or something bad occurs during the sport this can cause negative thoughts to begin. Sometimes even before I have even tried the activity, which can lead me to never try.

I joined a gym several years ago and have only recently gotten the courage to join in with an exercise class. Mainly because there are other people doing and watching the exercises. I did not know how to even sign up for them or what type of people go to them. Let alone if I would actually be able to exercise for a full hour.
Luckily the first class I attended there was only 1 other person and it turns out the staff are very nice. 3 months later and now I only go to the gym if I am attending a class, there is a good bunch of regulars who attend and the staff continue to push us. No more anxiety just a lot of hard work and pain.

Anxiety generally creeps into my life when I get bored, overthink thinks or something big is about to happen.
It is why I run in the rain, 🏃‍♂️🌧 kayak in the cold 🛶❄or push myself to go further in the gym or outside.
Occupying the mind and giving myself purpose allows me to dampen the anxiety.